For some, a diagnosis of cancer evokes frightening images of unpleasant
treatments and unwanted results. For others, it evokes a surreal state of
numbness, as if they are no longer a part of this world. No matter how one
reacts emotionally to their diagnosis, one question and one question alone
emerges almost immediately.
Doctor, what are my chances?
The desire to know the doctors belief concerning our probable fate
is of overriding importance.
I know. Ive been there.
Naturally, we want to hear theres a 100% cure; but most doctors cant
and wont make us that promise. Still, the answer to the question is
typically phased as a percentage.
Fortunately, my doctor had a better answer.
One January morning in 1998, my hip seemed to catch as I swung my feet out
of bed. The catch wasnt debilitating. In fact, I played 9 holes of
golf that day. It never occurred to me the problem was anything other than
a pulled muscle.
Yet, thirteen days later I found myself in a hospital bed, recovering from
exploratory surgery, where masses of tumors had been found in lymph nodes
in different parts of my body. The surgeon had done nothing but sew me back
up.
The next day a new doctor, an oncologist, came by my hospital room, and I
asked him the question: What are my chances?
I prefer not to talk in those terms, he replied. He explained
that statistics come from studies that are usually a few years old, and that
most could be considered outdated by the time they are published. And who
was to say the factors affecting the specific people in those studies were
exactly like the factors present in my case?
I listened, but I wasnt sure I believed. I had always heard people
talk of survival in terms of chances, but I remained quiet as he continued.
He said my situation was serious. The tumors were fused against vital arteries
and attempting to remove them was risky as I might be lost on the operating
table. We needed to begin treatment the following Monday (this was Friday).
We would mount an aggressive counterattack on these renegade cells with high
powered chemotherapy and we would be working with one of the best radiologists
around.
I was scared. I didnt want to think about the treatment. I just wanted
him to get rid of the cancer.
We agreed I would think about what he had told me and he would come back
the next day to answer my questions.
Before hed arrived that day, a friend dropped a book off for me to
read. It was about surviving cancer treatment with the use of meditation
and guided imagery. I had no experience with those techniques, but was open
to learning about them, as by now I was searching for any support in dealing
with the threat before me.
I was not yet convinced by the doctors statement concerning
scientific studies. After all, every person I had ever know or
heard of with cancer knew what their chances were. Perhaps he just didnt
want to tell me how desperate my situation really was. I had practiced law
for twenty years and was a skeptic. Without corroborating evidence, I did
not believe.
I turned to the book on the hospital tray for a needed a diversion and began
to read. An entire new world opened up.
I read about the mind/body connection and about medical doctors who believed
in the healing power of hope and faith. I read success stories of people
who saw their treatments as opportunities for survival, as opposed to dreaded
ordeals. I read about finding ones true self and true healing.
And as I read, a deep-seated truth emerged. A diagnosis is necessary for
survival. A prognosis is not. The question Id asked my doctor the night
before was one I didnt need answered.
I had wanted statistics. I had wanted to know the odds. But I wasnt
a statistic. None of us are. We are each distinctly different human beings,
and our lives can only be impacted by statistics if we allow ourselves to
believe we are controlled by what may have happened to others.
Through the wisdom of my doctor and the thoughtfulness of a friend with a
book, my understanding of my destiny had been reshaped. God made each of
us as individuals, with the ability to have individual futures that are unique.
If a diagnosis of cancer or some other life threatening event is thrust upon,
we are not bound to despair.
We have the Gods permission to help shape our future, and the most
destructive thing we can do is believe otherwise.
Alpha Ward-Burns, a cancer survivor and co-founder of Skin Solved, a skincare
company devoted to beautiful, healthy skin, is currently working on a book
concerning her treatment and recovery from cancer. You may contact Alpha
at
http://www.skinsolved.com
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